TheVerandaStore- Outdoor Living Furniture

How to Give Your Cat a Pill
1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth,
pop pill in mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paw. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat
vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door on to neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges.
Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13. Tie the little bastard’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
How to Give a Dog a Pill
1. Wrap it in bacon.
2. Toss it in the air.

LOL so very true about cats… If only we can inject the medication into kitty… or use a dart gun with meds… No, I love my cats, but yep, the pill thing requires 1 cat, 1 pill and at least 2 humans.

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1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from across the road Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13. Tie the little bastard’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How To Give A Dog A Pill
1. Wrap it in Bacon.

2. Toss it in the air.

I am waiting for the next installment, giving cat a bath.

hahaha I liked it.

Giving Cats Pills
INSTRUCTIONS FOR GIVING YOUR CAT A PILL

1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with lef hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of 10.

4. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

5. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, holding front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat’s head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.

6. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

7. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with its head just visible from below spouse’s armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat’s mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

8. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

9. Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

10. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

11. Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

12. Tie cat’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Force cat’s mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint of water down throat to wash pill down.

13. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room; sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop by furniture shop on way home to order new table.

14. Arrange for vet to make a housecall.

Well, I suggest writing something about getting a pill dispenser. It has worked wonders for me!

And it’s really too long…..

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INSTRUCTIONS FOR GIVING YOUR CAT A PILL

1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with lef hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of 10.

4. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

5. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, holding front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat’s head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.

6. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

7. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with its head just visible from below spouse’s armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat’s mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

8. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

9. Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

10. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

11. Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

12. Tie cat’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Force cat’s mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint of water down throat to wash pill down.

13. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room; sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop by furniture shop on way home to order new table.

14. Arrange for vet to make a housecall.
Did you silly people that are taking this question seriously not notice that this is a JOKE?

That sounds like my house come pill for the kiddos. lol
owned by 4 cats myself.
Excellent my friend.
GOD BLESS!

Star it if you like it. (trust me, its totally worth reading)

How to administer a pill to a cat:
1. Pick up the cat and cradle it in the crock of your left arm as if it were a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth.
2. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
3. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in arm and repeat process.
4. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw away soggy pill.
5. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with finger.Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
6.Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call partner in from garden.
7. Kneel on floor with cat tightly wedged between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold the cat’s head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.
8. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
9. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with cat’s head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of a drinking straw, force cat’s mouth open with pencil and blow down straw.
10. Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink a beer to take away the taste. Apply band-aid to partners forearm and remove blood from carpet with soap and water.
11. Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door on neck, so as to leave the head showing. Force mouth open with a dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
12. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges.Drink beer. Fetch scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check date of last tetannus jab. Apply whiskey compress to cheek disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
13. Ring fire brigade to retrieve the f******g cat from tree across the street. Apologise to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill form foil wrap.
14. tie the little bastard’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of the dining table. Find heavy pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by a large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertical and pour two pints of water down cat’s throat to wash down pill.
15. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill from your eye. Call furniture shop on the way home to order a new table.
16. Arrange for ASPCA to collect the mutant cat from hell and ring local pet shop to see if the have any guinea pigs.

How to administer a pill to a dog:
1. Wrap it in bacon.

Tears of laughter!!!!! Fortunately, never had to go this far to get a pill down, but I can relate. Thx for the laugh!!!!

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Here is my system.
1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrive cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear
paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of 10.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe.
Call spouse from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, holding front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cats head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep
shattered figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with its head just visible from below spouse’s armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat’s mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, dring glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retriev cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges.
Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetnus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road.
Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid
cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie cat’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind
tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from
shed. Force cat’s mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Get spouse to drive you to casualty; sit quietly while
doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from
right eye. Stop by furniture shop on way home to order new table.
Mick….turn the cat the other wey roon.

or just say here cat get this feckin pill took..i’ve got better feckin things to do with my night ye mangy wee @@@@^^&&@@@………hows that…..

Hi,

Can someone tell me if an affiliate which has several domains but the same content, will affect any SEO rankings? I have found some products for example Wooden Garden Furniture on affiliate sites, and some of the domain names are not keywords I would search for my product on, i would expect to find other stuff such as quilts and labels. I’m pretty new to this affiliate stuff, and currently using an agency but I don’t know if this is standard practice. Any practical advice would be much appreciated

Sure, substantially duplicate content may affect some websites’ ability to rank highly for certain keywords. Speaking only in terms of Google, and speaking hypothetically, here’s an example.

Let’s say that you are promoting an affiliate product, and you have a standard description that is supplied by the vendor / affiliate network. You may use this description (which usually ends up being the web page’s content or text), but there’ll likely be hundreds or thousands of other people using the exact same content as you are. While the duplicate content does work against you in a way because it’s not unique, that’s hardly the only ‘problem’ you’ll encounter if you’re trying to obtain favorable search engine rankings for your affiliate page.

Google uses hundreds of ’signals’ (ranking factors) to determine the ranking of a web page for a specific keyword query. If the affiliate product description is a good match for a specific query, Google will show the affiliate page of the website they determine to be the most relevant for the query based on all of their ranking factors at the top of their results. In other words, Google doesn’t rely on a page’s content alone (affiliate product description) to determine where a web-page ranks.

While adding unique content to your affiliate product description may help, the bigger picture is that if you have an established (older), trusted (has Google Page Rank) domain, you have a better chance of receiving higher placement for queries that match the affiliate product description. On the flip side, if you have a brand-new website that has no trust with Google (Page Rank), you’re not going to get very far using only significantly duplicate content.

Bottom line: if you have a brand-new website, and especially if you’re using a cookie-cutter affiliate website that is replicated all over the internet, or just basing your website on affiliate product descriptions, you’re facing an almost insurmountable challenge to get good search engine rankings and ultimately traffic. The best way to make money and get traffic and better rankings, as I’ve found anyway, is to limit the use of ready-made websites and generic product descriptions and instead add affiliate links into unique, but relevant content on your own website. Personally, I use Wordpress blogs for my niche marketing websites, and they work wonderfully. I have duplicate content for some Amazon products, but I add a lot of unique content that allows me to grab search engine traffic and then I can direct interested visitors to my affiliate link.

If you have a high page-rank website that is well trusted and loved by Google, you probably can get away with slapping up a bunch of duplicate content and maybe do ok (however, Google recently changed how they rank pages for long-tail keywords… so who knows at this point — search for ‘Google may day update’ for more info on that), but you’re not likely in that scenario. If you want the best chance at success, though, you’re going to need unique content on your site, and a lot of it.

– Disclaimer –
Some of what I said above is over-simplified and may not be well explained. It should, however, give you some insight into how duplicate content can affect you, and the all-around problems arising out of relying only on duplicate content to compete in search engines.